- Are we going to state this year? - Yeah!
I can't hear ya. Who's gonna be the state champions?
The Crows!
I need a brave freshman to step up.
Which one of you studs thinks you're a better quarterback than me?
Kent, how about it?
No, it's okay.
You're too busy milking cows to come and try out for the team,
the least you can do is show some school spirit.
Am I right? Come on, Kent.
You wanna take a shot at the hottest freshman in Smallville High?
Come on, Clark!
Just take your time.
Come on Clark, you can do it.
Support the team! Go, Crows!
Go, Crows! Come on!
Hey, it's the Crow.
Who's the lucky freshman this year?
Probably the biggest loser like every year.
- Come on, take it off. - Hey, leave her alone.
Please, don't do this you guys! Just leave me alone, alright.
What? We always torture the mascot. It's a tradition.
Leave me alone. Stop, you guys...
Scabby Abby.
Hey it's, Scabby Abby.
Scabby Abby! Scabby Abby!
Put your mask back on, Scabster!
Alright, who's next? Who's gonna step up and dunk her?
Poor Abby, it's taken three years but you finally let mommy help you.
Don't worry, sweetheart.
I won't let you waste your senior year like you did all the others.
- You promise people will like me? - They will. I promise.
Just like they did me.
Everyone will love you when they see the real you.
The one that's been inside all along.
You're going to have a senior year, no one will ever forget.
What a ball game! It's all tied up.
With five seconds left it's a Brother, here at metro stadium.
Clark Kent, the young phenom from Smallville
has led MU's incredible comeback.
Kent takes the step from his own 10-yard line.
It's Hail Mary time. He fades back, here's the pass.
A bullet deep downfield, way past his own receiver.
Wait! Kent's now flying down the field.
He's going to catch his own pass! Touchdown!
The Meteors win! Kent is unbelievable!
Nice arm, farm boy.
When's the first game?
- I'm not on the team. - Why not?
An arm like that is a "get out of geek free" pass.
- Well, even if I wanted to play... - Which obviously you do.
That wouldn't be the reason.
Thanks. I don't really consider myself a geek.
So, what do you see yourself as?
I don't know. An outsider, I guess.
That's a recipe for wedgies if I've ever heard one.
Have I told you how much I'm gonna miss you?
Daddy...
Don't you have 3,000 guys to baby sit?
Do you really need to keep checking up on me?
It would appear that way.
I know that I'm late but I can still make it to campus for orientation.
Save yourself a trip. Met U just yanked your acceptance.
What? They can't do that.
They can if you don't have enough credits to finish high school.
Look, I know I missed a few classes but..
Lo, you failed the last semester.
Not to worry, though.
I'm sure that Clark will be happy to show you around.
- Around where? - Around where?
Bright and early, tomorrow morning.
You start Smallville High.
Great.
You know, socially divisive cliques and hall passes aside
this place really isn't all that bad.
It's the varsity version of Dante's Seventh Ring.
Come on, do you know how many people would kill to relive
their senior year in high school?
Make that semester. Five more credits and I out of this cow pile.
Wait a minute. Five credit's in one semester?
Lois, the only way you're gonna do that is if you add
an extracurricular to your class load.
Like, say, maybe, writing for the "Torch."
No hard feelings here, cuz, but unlike you the last thing I wanna be is a reporter.
Yeah, God, what could be worse than you know, uncovering the truth
and protecting the public?
And sticking your nose in other people's business.
Like I said, you'd be perfect.
Come on. Let's go.
It's gonna be great having you here.
Check it out. A new girl.
Hi, Clark?
- Abby? - It's actually Abigail now.
You know, I almost didn't recognize you.
Ah, after an entire summer of recovery... good.
With any luck, this old locker will be the only thing that stays the same this year.
Yeah, that shouldn't be a problem.
So, why the...
Change?
I guess just one day you realize you can spend another year being resentful
of what everybody else has or you can do something about it.
It's our senior year, Clark.
This is my last chance.
Good morning, Clark. Hey, Abby.
Whoa, either she spent an entire summer at a silicon farm
or I am shopping at the wrong makeup counter.
How old is she, 17, that's like messing
with the batter before the cookies are even baked.
Don't tell me the world isn't nicer to prettier people.
Besides, you know, I mean, it's her body.
And if it makes her feel better, then it's none of our business.
What?
I'm just stunned that "Miss Letter To The Editor"
doesn't find it one bit distressing that a girl would get nipped and tucked
to transform into some plastic pod person...
I think she looks great.
What a shocker.
Look, that's the problem with high school. It's all a facade.
Everyone's hiding who they really are and trying to be something they're not.
Well, it sounds like you've got your first article.
See you in the "Torch."
Okay, I'll write for you but you better get me extra credit.
- Hey. - Hey, babe.
A note through the vent of my locker.
Very creative.
Well, I pride myself on being able to revert back to the fourth grade.
What are you doing here? If we get caught I could get detention.
I could get fired.
Coach Teague.
- I'm Clark Kent. - Hi.
Lana!
- What are you doing here? - I...
The principal asked this young lady to give me the grand tour.
It's good to meet you, Clark.
You know, they didn't tell me you were Jason Teague.
This guy threw a passing record his freshman year at Metropolis University.
He could've gone pro.
Yeah, well, now I'm just a transfer to Central Kansas A&M.
It's amazing how quickly you fall off a recruiters' lists
when you tear your rotator cuff.
Well, then, I guess we're lucky to have you here, coach.
Assistant coach, Miss lang.
Quigley's still gonna be calling the plays for you guys.
Well, actually, I'm not on the team.
I was hoping I could try out.
You look big enough. Sure.
- The Talon. - Lex, agreed to let me manage it.
I was lucky to find a job at all, Jonathan.
It's not like I have a full resume these days.
Sweetheart, if we're so worried about money
then why don't we just go through the books again?
- We'll find some other place to cut. - Like where?
We've been over it every week for two months.
There's no way we can get out from under these hospital bills.
I'm not blaming you.
I just don't wanna keep waiting and risk losing the farm. You've worked too hard.
Yeah, so that you wouldn't have to.
It's not so bad right now.
You have the farm, and Clark is gonna go off to college next year.
I need something of my own.
But why does it have to be with the Luthors?
I'll be selling espressos, Jonathan, not masterminding hostile takeovers.
I've always known that you wanted to have more than just this old farm.
I'm not gonna be the one to stand in your way.
- Thank you, sweetheart. - You're welcome!
Hey, Kent I need your permission slip, bud.
What positions have you played?
None, actually. I've never been on a team before.
My father wasn't too keen on the whole idea.
Your dad doesn't know you're here, does he?
When it comes to defying fathers, I'm kind of a pro.
I'm not doing this for him.
You know, I've seen a lot of guys join the team
just so they can walk around in a Letterman's jacket.
Because they want people to look at them differently.
But football's just a game.
If you wanna change, you gotta do that yourself.
That's why I'm here.
Alright. Let's see what you got.
Alright, Kent.
Prove something to us.
Alright, guys, let's go! Get in there, I wanna see some hustle.
Alright guys, on two.
Hut! Hut!
Alright, that'll work. Line up again, guys.
Checkout Scabby Abby.
- They're fake, you know. - Who cares.
Are you kidding me?
Man, is she hot.
Hey baby, you got hamburger for that steak?
I didn't mean to scare you.
I can't stop thinking about you.
You mean the girl you nicknamed "Scabby Abby?"
Yeah, I totally deserved that.
Maybe if I'd been more patient I would've seen who you really are.
The most beautiful girl in school.
I have a lot to apologize for.
What do you say we go some place a little more quiet?
So, where are we going?
- What are you doing? - You didn't feel that?
Of course I did.
No, no. I should.. I should go.
What's goin' on? Abigail, wait.
Oh, I get it. New face, same old, boring Scabby.
- Oh, my God! - Brett?
What's happening?
Oh, my God!
My face.
My God, what did you do to me?
No! My face!
Admissions office?
Look, I'm in the nation's cream corn capital, retaking calculus.
No, don't put me on hold. Could this day be any worse?
Anything else you could tell me?
No, no, that's everything. Thank you.
Lois, what's going on?
He just ran right out in front of me.
I don't know. They said he's going to be okay. Psychically, anyway.
The cops think he kinda lost it.
Who, Brett?
I just saw him at practice an hour ago. He was fine.
- Are you sure about that? - Yeah.
Think about it, Clark.
It's the start of a new season scholarships, the entire town
counting on you to be their hero?
Who knows what kind of neuroses are hiding behind that big man on campus mask?
No way. If anything, Brett was too overconfident.
He probably just didn't see you.
Yeah, that might explain the broken windshield
but do you want to tell me why he was running around half naked soaking wet?
Who would do that?
Last time I checked, you were missing a few prerequisites for being in here.
So you have been checking me out?
Lois, just wait outside.
Are you kidding?
Tortured senior can't keep up the hometown hero act in buckles?
This is as juicy as my teen cosmetic surgery article.
- Excuse me. - Yeah.
How well did you know Brett Anderson?
Not as well as I'd like to know you.
Charming. Look, Brett ran in front of my car.
Do any of you guys know what that was all about?
You make a habit of going through other peoples mail.
Sorry. The box was addressed to the Talon.
Something tells me this isn't a book-of-the-month selection.
What's with this fascination with ancient writings?
School project.
Must be the same project Clark's always working on.
For two people so different you have remarkably similar interests.
It still amazes me what you did with this place.
You saw promise in something everyone else thought was beyond redemption.
This is a side of Lex Luthor I've never seen before.
You're coming dangerously close to being nostalgic.
Congratulations are in order.
Coach Quigley called. You made the football team.
You don't have to worry, dad. I'm not gonna hurt anyone.
I know how to control my abilities.
The person I'm worried about you hurting, Clark, is yourself.
You're gonna be tempted to run just a little bit faster
to throw the ball, just far enough to win every game.
You think I'm gonna cheat? I won't cross that line.
You won't even know where that line is, Clark.
Come on, think about it, you're out there,
your friends are giving it their all, you're gonna do what ever it takes to win.
That's football, son.
And with you, it's never gonna be a fair competition.
Well, let's talk about what's fair.
What's the first thing you remember about high school when you think back?
Don't tell me it's not football.
I want that, too, dad.
And I'm sick of begging for the same chances that you just had.
I want my own life.
You're not the first person to walk through that door with tattoo remorse.
But you're the first one to do it without ink.
What?
Whatever this pigment is, it's almost as though
the symbol were branded underneath your skin.
Someone wanted to leave a mark you wouldn't easily forget.
But you can still remove it, right?
Well, I'll have to send this tissue sample off to the lab
but I am guessing removal won't be possible without a complete skin graft.
But we'll see.
You go to school with my daughter, don't you?
I never forget a face.
Especially a perfect one like yours.
It must get you anything you want.
Abby...
How's Brett? I saw you two in the hall.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I'll talk to you later.
Thank you. Bye. Dr. Fine.
What did you do to me?
I kissed this guy and he freaked out.
It was like, it was like, he went insane or something...
You were my first trial at this, Abigail.
- There's always potential for complication - Brett's at the hospital because of me.
Brett? Isn't that the boy who named you "Scabby Abby?"
Maybe he got exactly what he deserved. And Lana should, too.
Lana? But Lana never did anything to me.
Lana saw the two of you together.
She's already asking questions.
You think she knows?
This is a very serious problem, Abigail.
If Lana says anything to anyone about what's happened between you and this boy
they'll take all of this away from me.
And without your treatments,
you're gonna revert back exactly the way you used to be.
- Is that really what you want? - No.
I have done everything for you.
And now I need you to do something for me.
- Yeah. - Okay.
It's the old drama room.
Oh, this is an interesting detour from the coach's office.
I didn't even know this room existed.
Yep. Neither does anyone else, hopefully.
I still can't believe that you have a job at my school.
I know. I guess, I'm gonna have to get used to my guys drooling over you.
I don't think you have anything to worry about.
Yeah? What about Clark Kent?
I thought that you said you had a surprise for me.
How did this become about Clark?
It was strange. He kinda opened up to me today.
You have no idea how strange that really is.
Just that thing is, you know, running the drills and putting together a...
a good team is one thing
but having guys like Clark coming in for advice...
It's not gonna be so easy when these guys are looking
at me like I'm an adult. I still feel like I'm part of the team.
But this moment isn't about me.
No.
- Hold on. - Okay.
- It's about this. - Oh, dear.
That would be a blindfold.
- Yes, it would. - Okay.
So, what do you think you're gonna get out of this?
Oh, nothing, it's just that we never got to celebrate somebody's birthday.
- Right. - So you stay right here.
- Okay. - Okay.
Don't peek.
Jason?
Hello?
Jason, what are you do...
Abby?
I'm sorry, Lana.
I don't know if you can even hear me, Lana.
But if you knew how much you meant to me...
Well, I guess the polite thing to do is
cough and let you know I'm standing here but...
That always seems so forced, doesn't it?
How is she?
Well, they don't know what's wrong with her so it's kinda hard to say.
- Lex Luthor. - Jason Teague.
I work at the school. I'm a new assistant football coach.
Teague.
As in Marion, Teague & Weisman?
That's my father's firm.
And you decided to get as far away from the family business as possible.
Smart move.
It didn't exactly go down like that. He cut me off.
Well, what better place to kick-start a new career than Smallville High.
Certainly responsible of the school to send over
a representative to check in on her.
Yeah, I just I thought I'd stop by on the way home.
It was nothing.
I doubt that.
Lana deserves the best.
I hope you're it.
Hey. How's she doing?
She's pretty cut up.
They gave her a sedative but she keeps saying
"Don't let him see me" over and over again.
It's like some kind of breakdown.
When they brought Brett in, he was acting the same way
but the only thing they can find in common is a spike in their serotonin levels.
- Serotonin? - It's a brain chemical.
That LSD and hallucinogens mimic.
It's also the word that Lois misspelled three times
in her slander piece on "Extreme Makeovers."
Yeah, well, Lana and Brett are hardly candidates for plastic surgery.
Yeah, but Abby was.
Didn't Lana say she saw Brett with Abby right before he went crazy?
Maybe this procedure made her more beast than beauty.
My parents don't understand.
They say I'm too young for plastic surgery.
Well, some parents don't remember what it was like.
When I was your age, I wasn't exactly home coming queen.
Worked harder than all the pretty girls
only to watch every thing get handed to them.
Seven surgeries in two years changed all that.
I was actually interested in that new procedure you used on Abby.
Is it really true that you only have to come in once?
That's why I developed the process.
I didn't want to watch my daughter go through the pain that I endured
only to have what other girls were lucky enough to be born with.
So let's get you scheduled here.
Yes, please.
- I'm actually running a little late. - Are you recording this?
I'm going to expose you.
Who are you to stop people from being their best?
Call me crazy but I've always been a firm believer that beauty
it's on the inside.
The people that say that are the ones who already have it on the outside.
- You kinda let the inner slob out, huh? - Yeah, and her name is Lois.
She's been pulling these articles that Abby's mom published
on this new breakthrough "Instant makeover technique."
But Dr. Fine, ran into one snag.
It's sending the patients serotonin levels into overdrive.
It says here, Dr. Fine was working on a suppression medication
called Cerethro to keep the serotonin levels in check.
Maybe it worked.
Maybe Abby was the trial run.
Only Abby's seismic surgery didn't come without aftershocks.
She's passing something to people that's super-boosting their serotonin.
That makes sense if she kisses Brett but what about Lana?
I don't know, all I do know is that Abby's not hallucinating
so maybe all Lana and Brett need is a dose of that Cerethro medication.
It looks like Lois is one step ahead of us.
What are you doing?
Giving you the inside scoop.
You really wanna know what it was like for Abigail all of those years?
Well, you're gonna find out.
And without the suppressant to balance out your serotonin levels,
you'll be filing your story from the psych ward.
Clark!
- Are you okay? - Get me out of here.
Bitch.
I don't know how to tell you this without sounding really stuck-up...
I already know you're stuck-up. In fact, I wanted to talk to you about that.
- You're funny. - Yeah. And cute, huh?
Okay, Jason, look, I'm being serious.
Alright.
Back in freshman year, I made the cheerleading squad.
And that was my whole identity.
Putting on the face that I thought everyone wanted to see.
I keep thinking of all the times that you've told me that I'm beautiful.
And I can't help but wonder how much of me you really see.
Lana, I tell you you're beautiful because of who you are, not because of what I see.
I mean, you're the girl I flew half way across the world to be with.
The girl who kicks the crap out of me
at Xbox and thinks it's hysterical.
I mean, I have seen you with the stomach flu where your eyes
were puffy and your nose was running, you're yakking...
Okay, okay, I get the picture.
All I'm saying is, the reasons I love you
it's not something you can see in a mirror.
That's good. I'm gonna write that down and use that later.
I guess practice ran late, huh?
Dad, I'm sorry I disappointed you.
But I'm staying on the team.
I'm tired of living my life on the sidelines.
I realize that, Clark.
I also realize that you're a senior in high school and
from now on you're gonna be makin a lot of your own decisions.
But if you wanna be seen as an adult in this family
then you're gonna have to start acting like one.
Adults in this family don't run off and do things
without discussing them first.
I know.
That's why I have just one question for you.
Are you gonna let some assistant coach from Metropolis
teach your boy how to play football?
Go deep.
Yeah!
Admiring the genius within, huh?
- It had a typo. - Oh, nice try.
So, I followed up on the Abby story line
and it looks like mother makeover is gonna be playing
"Mirror, mirror" on the psych ward wall from now on.
- Is Abby gonna be okay? - Yeah, she'll be back next week.
So, are you excited for your first pep rally?
Not exactly the Friday night I've been dreamin' of.
Oh, come on, it's your debut as Smallville's newest celeb.
Yeah, right, one plastics r' us piece,
and they're gonna be holding tables all over town for me.
You'd be surprised, I mean, not that I'm ceding
my stance on a woman's right to choose rhinoplasty, but...
You've got fan mail.
Looks like your little expose struck a couple chords.
I didn't even expect anybody to read this, let alone have a...
"A life-changing experience?" Please.
Whatever. Say what you want. But I know inside it's getting to you.
Welcome to the bull pen, Miss. Lane.
Now, I'm off to see Clark Kent in a wet t-shirt. Care to join me?
Like I've never seen that before.
Keep your eye on the target.
Come on, Lois, didn't those guys on the base teach you anything?
Wouldn't you like to know?
It doesn't matter cause you are going down.
That'll be the day.